Saturday, December 13, 2008

And I don't want the world to see me,
Coz I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything is meant to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.......

Wonderful and haunting lines.....

Sung by one, Read by someone,they just found a place in my heart.
Everytime I hear that song, my heart flies and sinks
A different time a different place I find myself in,
A pain from long ago, my heart drinks.

Once the stone you're crawling under is lifted off your shoulders,
Once the cloud that's raining over your head disappears,
The noise that you hear the crashing down of hollow years.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Taste with eyes.... a term I read somewhere....
Eyes were meant to see and tongues were meant to taste....
But I suppose I'm wrong...coz everyone there
Seems to appreciate that it is .....called "taste"

Head is splitting while I try to figure out,
How could I be wrong for saying,
"A spade is a spade"- without a doubt,
Everytime I was right, my mind is saying.

Cause and effect - thats logical,
But a blast without any agitation?
Thats surprising-disorder without a radical
like cure without medication.

I talk in cryptics - thats the order of the day,
When what u say is twisted beyond recognition,
You wish you had that one friend if u may,
The one who wrote the screenplay and gave direction.
Climbing out but trampled on,
Cut me up in pieces,
Punish me for what I was made,
Make me hate this very breath,
This beauty of my life has been turned upside down,
By one mistake I made ages ago,
I was not wrong in being born,
Then why am I being punished for being me,
Wish to end this strife,
But seems like it will end with this life,
So whats my mistake?
Not conforming to someone else's picture of who I should be?
For being the me who could prove "him" and his ego wrong?
Climbing walls in an endless circle.....
Screaming out till my blood curdles.....
Punishing myself to lessen others pain.......
And still they wish to suck the life out of me.....
Guess what?...... they just succeeded!!!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Ok ... Think happy huh.....?

I'm confused....again i read a blog. Wow man....whats happening in life....senior batch at college....loads of work and tension mounting. Ever got the thought.... "Am I good enough?".... Its been haunting me for quite a long time now.

Am I good enough?, I wonder now
Wonder if I will ever be ready
Make it to the top, how how how?
This tottering pile isn't enough, steady
Nervous so much on the inside
Trying so hard to keep my face
Looking through closed eyes open wide
I'm trying to find that trace
I can't be the only one? Can I?
So worried I could be sick
Why cant I, this feeling, defy
Get out and do the trick.
Why not be the one you are?
Who am I?, I enquire about
The people who think they know me by far
If they knew me they'd stand in doubt.
Am I wrong? Or are they?
I dunno where I stand
Do I know me or do they?
Well I'll leave it to time and.....

Saturday, May 31, 2008

No Poems today...
For once I shall try my hand at prose though I don't write that well. :P

Well i dunno what happened today morning I woke up read a lil something and my entire mood changed. My emotions seem to be just churned in a mixer. Just felt that all thats happening now.....was it even worth it?? Cryptic huh?

Picture #1 : You like someone's company but are not allowed to spend time with them. So you fight your way out to spend time and get some momentary happiness only to cry for hours later. And some years later you realise that all that fighting wasn't really necessary because you have a lifetime of such good times lined ahead.

Picture #2 : Your very good friend, with whom you've spent countless hours, whom you cared for, whom you shared a lot with, stops talking to you. You reach a point where you cant even stand in the same room.

Picture #3 : There is someone around you who has been observing you for years now but has never talked to you thinking you don't need them, when all that you needed was a friend like them. And you are completely ignorant of the fact that they have been watching you.

Picture #4 : You meet someone you have seen for years. You talk to them once and you like them, while you might have avoided them for all those years thinking they are some weird jerks. And then suddenly you realise that you hardly have any time left with them. You reprimand yourself for not talking to them before.

Picture #5 : You are packing your bags to leave the place where all this happened and in a poof all these scenes are smoke. All the things which were so important to you till then that your life revolved around these seemed like just a lil part of a larger picture. Its like someone turned off all the spots and turned houselights on.

I'm just in that state of mind where I have seen picture #5 happening around me. I just stopped in my tracks. Maybe its too early for me to comment on anything about that picture but I just can't help but see that every scene that happened has changed me, my life and my story. But is it worth all that attention and time it got? Maybe it did. And then maybe it dint. I'm totally in a daze right now. Lets hope that when my time comes I'll be a lil more clear about these. But i guess I will always regret not speaking to some people earlier. Because what could have been years has now boiled down to months and weeks.

Well, enough questions spinning my head for the day.....I shall shut up now.

Friday, May 09, 2008

I'm feeling....VAGUE
What is Vague?

Lets thats vague....I'll write something else vague....Dunno when I wrote this but here it is...see its vague....
OK enough of vagueness

The sun sets slowly, is he reaching out?
Maybe its my mind playing its tricks again....
Does he not want to leave the skies?
Why do i see and feel so much pain.....
Why do the birds seem like they cant cry any louder?
This sinking feeling its getting too much...
Why cant i cry with the birds?
these walls block out my voice, their force is such....
I'm screaming inside....But who would ever know?
I'm nothing but a mute to the passer-by.....
All in Vain, my efforts are, it seems...
I'm scratching the walls, to get out, I try....
The sun sinks lower, Is he escaping?
So that he can save face, at a later hour....
Or helpless, is he, after all his efforts.....
And does not wish to tell me, so is moving far....
Somebody stop me, I'll come unhinged...
Someone stop this hammering in my head...
Check for vital signs, revive me....
As frustration, sucks out life, leaving me dead...
Is the end, Of the tunnel, the darkness?
Why is my pain draining away so fast...
This is just the beginning of the end....
And now my body and mind rest at last....

I'm still wondering when or why i wrote it.
The circumstances are....
wait for it....

Cheers to this vague post